If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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