great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
