i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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