Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
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Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i now understand why vodka
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I pour the whiskey from now on
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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