I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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