Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize