I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
MIDGETS
????
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
