im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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