I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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