dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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