he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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