it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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