Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
