I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize