What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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