He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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