Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
