dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
