I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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