I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
