youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
whose ass print is on the piano?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
