like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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