walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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