Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
