And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
