i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
