why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
