What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
