peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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