i don't like sucking hair
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
