therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
