I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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