Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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