Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
