Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
