I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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