Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
