He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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