having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
