This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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