I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
