It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
