He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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