she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
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I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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