I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
