Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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