ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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