dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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