She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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