It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
