this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
