Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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