I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
