No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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