omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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