if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
