The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
