you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
