you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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