Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
