I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
