I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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