Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
