yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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