ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Say something about gay babies.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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