It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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