I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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