Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
